In Hawaiian, ohana is family.  It includes your blood relatives and your adoptive or “intentional” family (those you get to choose, like good friends).  In the island culture, ohana is very important. Many homes are built with the ohana in mind including “mother-in-law’s quarters” or separate housing structures on the property.  The Hawaiians, like most freshly-Westernized tribal cultures, understand community (family, ohana) is important because close societies are built-in support systems.

They understand the addage “it takes a village to raise a child”.  That quote is not only attributed to Hillary Clinton (and the title of one of her books) but is told to have its origins in African tribal society.  In the single-family culture we’ve created in places like the U.S, we have been attempting to raise our children without the the help of our family and neighbors for the past several decades.  How do you that’s working out for us?

Community child-rearing is important, not only to teach the child – and others – social responsibility, but ohana also gives the parents (and in many cases these days, the singular parent) a break.  Child-rearing is energy-draining (if you’re doing it right).  While some will argue the point, most mothers I know (myself included) know what I’m talking about.  When the energy of a child can be spread across a community, like aunties, grandparents, cousins, good friends, etc – the parent needn’t become depleted or overwhelmed  (and child learns not to suck the life out of individuals).

Ohana not only raises the children but it’s there for the elderly.  Our elders hold the power wisdom within their hearts and minds if only we would keep them close and listen.  Again, the community should care for their aging within a family environment.  Children can learn from their tutu and tutu kane by having them close.  They can also learn that aging isn’t scary, and death is a natural part of living.

Look at our society’s thoughts on aging.  Tucking our elderly away in nursing homes and elderly communities can make the prospect of growing old a very scary thing to behold.  Instead of working with nature, we try our damnedest to work against it.  Watch any daytime TV and learn how “you can look years younger!”

Most tribal communities celebrating the ohana don’t fear the young or the old; they simply live, caring for each other so the stress of caring for the young, old and sick needn’t be born by a single person or couple.

We could learn so much from the cultures we are decimating “for their own good”.   While I’m a U.S. citizen, I can’t agree that the “Western way” is the right way; especially when it comes to the division of communities.

With that said, the rhetoric and outright bashing of the president needs to stop. He won, he is the President of the United States, the Commander-in-Chief of the United States military, and the leader of the free world…whether you like him or not is not the question, you are Americans! What, are you in Congress (lol)? Support the leader of your country and give that post the respect it deserves. Be critical of his decisions, but don’t belittle and criticize his office…it is the high office of our nation! Ask yourself what you can do to help him fix this mess instead of what he can do for you (sound familiar?). Be an active part of the country instead of an armchair observer. The problem we have is simple, we elect people to govern and expect them to do EVERYTHING for us. That is not how it works.

We need to be the change we want to see in the world. Want better schools? Then raise respectful children that have a thirst for learning and stop expecting teachers to raise them for you. Want solutions? Then ask the right questions to get things done and stop assuming someone else will ask them. Want better government? Vote and hold those you vote for accountable for their actions instead of blaming one man for all your troubles. Want a great nation? Then believe in your country and support it instead of knocking it down.

To have great leadership, we have to practice great followership…with all the complaints I have heard about the election you would think that all the answers were in a bag and Mr Obama lit the bag on fire. He is not Caesar…he did not burn the library of Alexandria. He is one man who is trying to work toward solutions. You may or may not agree with his ideas. His solutions may or may not work, but doing SOMETHING beats doing nothing!

Division and the divisiveness of the two party system is also not his fault. You were told he was the worst president ever and that his reign would kill the USA before he even had a chance to govern (four years later and we are still here and getting stronger by the day). The opposing party, so angry that they were no longer in power, started a unified plea immediately upon his election that he would be a “one term president”. They claimed they would “save us” from his tyrannical power and the destruction that his “liberal elitist” supporters represent before he even made any decisions. Funny that his supporters (2/3 of the country at the time) were labeled elitists four years ago and are now labeled the people looking for handouts…but I digress.

The real point is this: we cannot afford to spend the next four years being butt hurt over who won the election. Our freedom to choose our leader has already occurred but the freedom of choice isn’t over. You now can choose to be part of the problem or part of the solution. The idea that you should hate, discriminate, or be overly critical of a man because your team lost is ridiculous. Maybe we should get behind our leader instead of viewing the most important election in the world, the election of a president of the US in the same way we would view the Superbowl. I get that you hate the NY Giants, but get over it, they are the world champions until the next big game…

Look at these dirty old bastards who tried to get away with their horn-dog antics…

• Bill Clinton
• Gary Condit
• John Edwards
• Barney Frank
• Gary Hart
• John F. Kennedy
• Eliot Spitzer
• Anthony Weiner

Don’t get me wrong. We all know Republicans have their Catholic Priest-like indescretions as well, but the Dems take the cake with their colorful antics.  Who will ever forget Bill Clinton vehemently denying his affair with his fashion-forward, beret-sporting intern? “I did not have sex with that woman.”

Not only are their sex romps more shameful, but their attitude toward them is just as scandalous.  They either deny, deny, deny like Clinton or admit and quit like Weiner (after the first few denials) and Spitzer.  No matter the response, we see a few of these, at the higher political levels, every year. I can see why.  Democrats just want to be the popular guys. They are normally younger than their Republican counterparts, and they just want everybody to like them.  They often gain favor by spending money on their friends.  Who wouldn’t want to f*ck a cool guy like that?

Democrats, being the “liberal-minded” within the two-party system, are much more open to things like sex.  Historically speaking, the Dems have been significantly less dogmatic with most of their views, sex included.  They aren’t normally bound by the tenets of ancient text like their conservative, Bible-thumping, brethen (who, at the same time, are the Devil).

I know. I know.  You’re shouting at me, “But Republicans do it, too!”  I get that.  We all remember former NC Governor Mark Sanford (R).  His dirty deed spanned the continent and included a man hunt. Good times.  No offense, but the jackasses just do it better; there’s a suavity to their foulness.

Now, don’t go believing those stories about a pork shortage because, as long as there are Democrats… Hell. As long as there are POLITICIANS in America, there will be pigs available (for the media) to eat.

This card is from “The Republican Tarot” deck

The Devil is associated with ignorance.  To be ignorant is to be unenlightened.  In the tarot deck, the #15 card of the major arcana, is associated with The Devil.  The meaning of the card is obsession, enslavement, forgetting the spiritual and being generally unenlightened.

The Devil is selfishness.  He rules Hell and therefore, inflicts pain and torture on souls. No offense, but that’s kind of what Republicans do.  If Jesus were around today, Republicans would Pilate him all over again (which kind of lets the Jews off this time around because most of them are Democrats).  Christ would be branded a bleeding-heart socialist for trying to help the needy within the community, and he would, once again, be crucified.

The Devil is also greed.  If there’s anything Republicans REALLY love, it’s money (and uncovering the dirty sex scandals of Democrats, so they have new masturbation material).  No offense to the Republicans who don’t have any sexual hang-ups founded upon ancient doctrine.  Let’s be honest, those seeking “fiscal responsibility” with little-to-no-financial-oversight are usually the wealthy (including the corporations which are the Beelzebubs of our American hell).

The Devil is a liar; purposely spewing falsities and ignorance to the masses, much like FOX News. No. Wait. What I meant to say is the Devil is fair and balanced.  He just calls ‘em like he sees ‘em.

The Devil has been known to make good people do very bad things.  Take for instance, the Tea Party.  They were probably semi-decent people before they started drinking the devil’s high-fructose corn-syrupy evil juice.  They have been led to believe lies like global warming is a hoax, Obama is an undercover terrorist and his healthcare plan will kill you!   When the Devil’s sheep believe those lies, they turn on their fellow man with animosity and hate.  Animosity and hate is the life-blood of the devil.

No offense, but by this definition (and the fact that Ann Coulter is in their corner), Republicans are most certainly the devil!

The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life. Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
- Albert Einstein

Note:  My insincerest apologies to my Republican friends. Your party has been overtaken by ignorant, greedy white people (with a smattering of darker-skin, but trust me, you’re not even pepper; more like slightly dirty salt).  And lest you think I can’t truly see many sides of a situation, you will get your requital with my “totally inoffensive” indictment of your Democratic friends.

Photo courtesy of peopleofwalmart.com

Because Walmart caters to fat people, I find it ironic that one of their tag lines is “Save money. Live Better.”  Walmart is for fat people. How do I know this?  Because they have an extensive Plus-sized ladies-wear section.  Conversely, Target’s Plus-size area is almost non-existant. They offer only a few items of clothing compared to the women’s, junior’s AND maternity section.  (We all know that pregnant women put out, so Target must cater to prostitutes.) If you are a larger lady, you have many more options to cover those curves by shopping at Walmart. How do I know this? Because I’m a larger lady. Luckily (for my health and well-being), I no longer have to shop in the Plus-size section with those taunting ceiling signs, letting everybody know I’m one of the 64% of American women with a weight issue.

Walk through their (smaller) grocery areas, and you will find an enormous difference in the offerings and the style in which they offer it.  Target has much more wine than beer.  Walmart has more beer than wine. Haven’t you heard that fat people drink more beer than wine, and skinny people drink more wine than beer?

Walmart has crazy low prices; therefore, it caters to people with limited incomes (translation: poor people).  Poor people can’t really shop at Target. Have you seen how much those bitches charge for toilet paper??  It’s ridiculous.  Studies show that poor people are fatter, and since poor people must shop there, Walmart is for fat people.

Note:  I currently have to shop at Walmart for certain items; however, I wouldn’t if I could help it. Not because I don’t want to be viewed as being fat or poor; I could care less how people judge my outward appearance.  I hate that Walmart is a megalithic corporation pillaging our planet through their greed.

My grandmother is on Medicare, the national healthcare coverage of the elderly who aren’t rich enough to afford private insurance.  Insurance… that thing that’s supposed to INSURE we can get healthcare when we need it most.  It’s because of insurance that our healthcare costs are soaring.  Doctors have to employ an entire staff of people just to deal with the insurance companies and their bullshit paperwork requirements.  Employees cost money.  Larger office space costs money.  Doctors must charge more because insurance companies tell them what they will pay them (which is normally half or less of what the doctor’s actually charge). Since nobody but insurance companies can afford doctors these days, the doctors must see more patients because they aren’t making enough money through insurance companies. It’s one of the most most-numbing cluster fucks of our “modern” and “civilized” society.

Let me scream and yell and rant about something (because the system is driving me crazy; though, I can’t get help for my crazy because I don’t have insurance). Our healthcare INDUSTRY is a joke. Number one, because we’ve turned the matter of personal health into a fucking industry.  Number two, because of the high cost of healthcare (thanks to insurance companies – see above), and Number three, because doctors have become no better than factory farmers pushing the cattle in the front door, milking them dry, shooting them up with drugs and pushing them out the back door with ZERO humane interaction. YOU ARE A FARM ANIMAL IN THE EYES OF YOUR INSURANCE COMPANY AND MANY HEALTHCARE PROVIDERS!

My rant is actually more on the quality of our society as a whole rather than just healthcare.  Why are people sick?  Because they’re fat and lazy.  Why are they fat and lazy?  Because they eat processed, sugar-laden garbage and can’t pull themselves away from the awesomeness of Big Brother, that rich twit Kim Kardashian and  or some other inane (over-processed) bullshit splashed across their television screens.

What happens when people get sick? They realize they should treat their bodies better through proper diet and exercise (like adding gasoline to a car instead of putting sugar in the tank, or getting the oil changed for optimal performance)?  No.  Most people try to see a doctor for a magic pill to make it all better.  Does the doctor ask them to eat healthily and move their bodies so they will feel better naturally? No because Big Pharma has made this awesome pill that will fix the problem (and give the doctor Bahamian vacations and other goodies to boost those sales).

This is us. This is how we live. This is America. I hope you’re proud.  Now go eat your chips and drink your high-fructose corn syrupy beverage of choice while watching watch some trashy reality TV paid for by campaign commercials where rich politicians bash each other.

I want to be proud to be an American. I don’t hate my country. I know I’m lucky to have been born here and not some other shit-hole on the planet.  But for the sake of all that you find holy (whatever that may be for you), if you’re THAT proud of this country, ACT LIKE IT! Take pride in it by taking care of YOU and your community.  If nobody had to go to the doctor (well let’s be honest, if doctor visits became less of a need due to the overall healthiness of the nation), those bitch-ass insurance companies would go out of business. (No offense to those of you who may work for said bitch-ass companies, but let’s be honest… your line of work is soul-sucking and one of the many things wrong with our country.0

- from “Creep” by Radiohead

I try to go for an evening walk at least four times a week in my neighborhood. I normally travel 3 to 4 miles, and I pass many people along the way. I’ve been counting.  On average, every one out of 10 people that I pass, will actually look me in the eye.  Only 10% of the people I come upon, purposefully look away or down – they don’t seem to want the interaction of another human; whether to smile or sneer.

There is an almost-uncomfortable feeling with the people who will actually go out of their way to make eye contact. They will look at me (well maybe not AT me, but in my direction),  and sometimes give the obligatory nod or mumble “hello” before looking away and quickly moving on.

WTF is wrong with us??????  We are supposed to be a social species and yet, we’ve come to a point in our evolution where we can’t even talk to each other as we pass on the streets, in the malls, parks, etc.  We get angry when people are slower than us in line at the store, or in our cars in traffic.  We have become impatient and pretty unkind.  We like our media mean-spirited and our friendships to be wrapped up n 140-letter twits (er, tweets).  Eye-contact, even without a word spoken, has become one of the most intimidating things to practice in our society.

…or the person staring at you sees the big bugger on your face that you missed when you sneezed.

I’m a “smiler”.  When I’m walking, I am happy. I have my headphones in, I’m looking around, I attempt eye-contact, and I try to smile at everyone.  If somebody looks at me, I will normally say, “Hi!”.  I smile at almost everyone.  I, too, avoid eye contact with the people that seem to be in an incredible hurry or might want to kill me.  Sometimes I will even “fake the hurry” to avoid getting caught up in an uncomfortable eye-contact conversation with a stranger.

That brings me to the point of “mistrust”.  It’s the word that quickly comes to mind when I ponder our general lack of interest in each other;  mistrust of others, fear of others, fear of losing personal time by getting caught up in a conversation with a stranger, a general dislike of humanity… What is there to be afraid of? Losing precious time while making contact with another person?

It’s becoming almost eerie. I find myself getting caught up in anything that will entertain me so I don’t have to try out my ever-diminishing social skills.  I sit on the train into the city, reading my book and listening to my iPod in the hopes that I can be left alone while I make the awful commute.  I don’t want the “public-transportation freaks” to talk to me.  Then again, it would be nice if people would simply recognize the humanity in each other and smile or nod when that 0h-so-frightening eye-contact is made with a stranger. It would be much nicer than it is now; where we pretend other people don’t even exist as we share the same space.

As I was walking down the street one day
A man came up to me and asked me what the time was that was
on my watch, yeah
And I said
Does anybody really know what time it is
I don’t
Does anybody really care

- from “Does Anybody Really Know What time It Is” by Chicago

I’m an open-minded woman living in America in 2012, so my choice in president should be easy, right?  Wrong.  Because I’m a a citizen (not just  woman) living in America, I’m made to feel as if my choices are limited to either/or.  With millions of people living in this country, why are there only TWO choices for the executive office?  Oh wait. What? There are other candidates out there? Wha – What???

Here is a list of candidates NOT nominated by either of the big two, but still running for president.  Don’t expect to see them in any of the upcoming debates (unless they get 15% popularity in 5 nationally-recognized polls and be on sufficient state-ballots to be mathematically eligible to win the presidency).  They likely haven’t made enough money to be in your face and on your television networks answering important questions like, “American Idol or Dancing with the stars?”  Obviously not all who are still in the run-up to the election are “viable” candidates.  You could also say Mitt Romney or Barack Obama are the only viable candidates, but that just wouldn’t be true, now would it?

It is true, however, that a non-Republican/Democratic president could (let’s be honest, WOULD) have a difficult time pushing their agendas (i.e. the Republican filibuster fiasco of the past four years).  At the same time, popularly voting for someone not backed by the Big Two would send a message to our lawmakers on Capitol Hill:  ”Seriously guys.  We want shit to change!”

I hear the arguments already.  The electoral college, the thing that actually makes a president, won’t vote “alternatively”.  This isn’t the fucking ’90′s.  We don’t need “alternative”, we need OPPOSITE.  The popular vote, if overwhelming, would have to be seriously considered – not like the Floridian joke of 2004.

“Oh, but choosing an alternative candidate just gives votes to (Romney or Obama)…”  No.  It gives votes to the person you’re voting for, popularly-speaking. Choosing a different candidate sends the message to congress that we want real change (see above).  It sends a message to the media that the people want to see something else on their televisions. It sends a message to the masses that it’s really ok not to go along with A or B because there are twenty-four more letters to choose from.  The majority should rule, that’s how a democratic society works.  But the majority should have an informed voice.  Why are the other candidates’ voices being suppressed?  Why don’t we hear about them on our regular news networks?  (Queue Pink Floyd’s ching, ching “Money”.)  Money is serous business, so it makes sense that you’re only taken seriously if you have enough of it.

Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost. – John Quincy Adams

With that being said, here’s your list of super alternative, grunge rock presidential candidates of 2012.  

Yeah. Vote for this guy.

Did you know Roseanne Barr was still running as candidate for the Peace and Freedom Party?   Here’s where she stands on the issues. I believe in legalization, but the first topic under her issues page is the “Legalization of Marijuana”.  I don’t know if that’s the message I want to send to Capitol Hill, but still…

There’s a guy named Merlin running which I think is awesome because we need more wizards in office.  There’s a sweet-looking girl with dimples (take that Putin!), and a bunch of other guys you won’t pay attention to either.  Jeff Boss is running which is an awesome presidential name (and great for a rapper, too!), but he kind of scares me. I don’t know that I could take Sheila Tittle seriously; I’d giggle like a 10-year old every time I heard “President Tittle”.  The seriously hot guy with no shirt could definitely keep us ladies in line (if you know what I mean), but oh? Did he have ideas on how to run the country, too? <eyelash flutter>

 The Libertarian and Green parties have gained ballot access in states controlling at least 270 electoral votes.  Their presidential candidates are:

Green Party:  Dr. Jill Stein (M.D. from Massachusetts).  Here is how she stands on the issues.  I am registered Green Party because they most closely resemble my personal core values; though, I am not a party line voter. Here are a couple of my stand-out favorites (bearing in mind, she would still have to deal with those corporate-sponsored assholes in the House and Senate)…

• Jobs: Provide grants and low-interest loans to green businesses and cooperatives, with an emphasis on small, locally-based companies that keep the wealth created by local labor circulating in the community, rather than being drained off to enrich absentee investors.
• Taxes: Stop draining the non-profit sectors of our economy in order to give tax cuts to the for-profit sectors.
• Health Care: (one of my favorites because I believe in this wholeheartedly) Avoid chronic diseases by investing in essential community health infrastructure such as local, fresh, organic food systems, pollution-free renewable energy, phasing out toxic chemicals, and active transportation such as bike paths and safe sidewalks that dovetail with public transit.
• CLEAN ENERGY = Green Jobs! There is no reason why job creation cannot be made in the green world.
• Reverse the Citizens United ruling to revoke corporate personhood, and amend our Constitution to make clear that corporations are not persons and money is not speech.

Libertarian Party:  Gary Johnson (former New Mexico governor).  Here is how he stands on the issues.  I like Gary.  He’s fiscally sound, hates overreaching government and wants to legalize pot.  If you’re a republican feeling disheartened by your party’s nominee, Johnson could be a good choice.  Here are a few of my faves…

• Spending and the Deficit:  Government spends too much because it does too much.
• Drug Policy Reform:  End the war on drugs and make marijuana legal:  Over 1.5 million Americans were arrested last year on drug charges, and nearly 40% of those arrests were for marijuana possession alone. Does this make sense?
• Common Sense Environment Regulation:Essential environmental protection does not require destroying jobs, infringing on property rights, or curtailing freedom.

I remember him as the angry skinny lead singer of Black Flag. I’d love to see him in a fist fight with some congressmen.

Those two, quite viable and seemingly sane, candidates give us double the choices presented to us by the mainstream media.  But wait!  There’s more…  Four choices not enough?   Check out these guys who have ballot access to less than 270 electoral votes.  ”Viable” may not be the right word for all of them (many, most?), but the fact they’re still in the running gives me hope for a better future (ok, now I’m blowing smoke up your ass).  Here they are anyway. Research them. You may find one you like! (P.S. It wouldn’t surprised me if some of the sites these bios are hosted on will likely get your name on some crazy NSA or FBI list.)

Remember: If there is a candidate who you agreed with completely, that candidate would be YOU.

Ron Paul.  I get confused whether or not he’s running for president as the Republican he is (re: his congressional party affiliation) or an Independent.

Constitution Party: Virgil Goode (former Repulican U.S. congressman from VA)

Justice Party: Rocky Anderson (former Democrat, founding member of the Justice Party, and former SLC mayor)

Party for Socialism and Liberation: Peta Lindsay (anti-war activist).

America’s Party: Tom Hoefling (National chairman of his party).

Socialist Party USA: Stewart Alexander

Socialist Workers Party: James Harris (political activist)

Objectivist Party: Dr. Tom Stevens (attorney) -

American third Position Party: Merlin Miller (Indie filmmaker)

Reform Party USA: Andre Barnett (entrepreneur)

Socialist Equality Party: Jerry White (journalist)

Grassroots Party: Jim Carlson (businessman)

Prohibition Party: Jack Fellure (professional presidential candidate)

Independent American Party: Will Christensen (businessman)

Independent Candidates:

• Richard Duncan
• Sheila Tittle
• Jeff Boss
• Randall Terry
• Dean Morstad
• Jill Reed
• Jerry Litzel (couldn’t really find much on this guy by way of “official” info)

I believe what Oprah tells me because she's never steered me wrong on a good book.

American politics has turned into a celebrity showdown. Remember the many media icons who backed Obama four years ago?  He won because A) we REALLY wanted to believe him and B) our modern-day heroes told us we could trust him.  Obama is a great orator and can be somewhat charismatic. It didn’t hurt that the country collectively began to feel an almost desperate need for change.  A young black man was exactly what we needed to oppose the old-white-man-in-the-White-House mentality that has been our executive office since the dawn of the republic.

On the flip (conservative) side, Sarah Palin got all gussied up for the prom and turned on her ignorant charm, teasing and pleasing the conservative masses with her good looks and solid “American values”. It didn’t matter that half the shit she said was completely illogical or untruthful.  She sold it as truth because she had beautifully-coifed hair, sparkly white teeth and great gams.

The same scenario is playing out again not only at the executive level, but in the local arena as well.  We are finding that, those politicians with the most money (once again) are the ones getting the face time.  We Americans just LOVE to see our celebrities splashed across the papers and especially on our televisions. Money not only buys ad space, but it can buy teeth whitening, great suits, good haircuts and pay for out-of-context-editing  which has become the scummy backbone of many an ad campaign (not to mention FOX News).

We want to believe what our TV’s tell us because it’s just too much work to research our candidates on our own.  The campaign managers know that Americans are lazy. Half of our country’s population is obese. It goes to show that we stopped trying a long time ago.  We don’t want to do anything that requires real work of the mind or body.  So we’ll continue to be spoon-fed our entertainment and our lawmakers who are both the same thing these days.